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Andre Villas-Boas sacked – we are offering him FIVE courses for ZERO money

Dear Andre,
Sorry to hear of your recent defeat(s) and sacking. Perhaps you might consider a change of career?
 
The IT industry is full of great opportunities and a committed individual like yourself, should have no trouble finding a job. You just need some training.
 
We are running the Certified Ethical Hacker course, which only takes five (5) days. Oh sorry, too soon? Take the CompTIA A+ instead, that’s only four days. It’s running soon, so you can quickly complete the cert and be ready by early 2014 for a first line support engineer role.
 
Salaries are starting from about £30k, which might be a sudden drop for you, but it’s still better than going on the dole.
 
We look forward to welcoming you on our course!
Kind regards,